To me, there is nothing sexier than a man who can work both eyeliner and a sharp suit in turn.

I am not a big hunky-testosterone-muscle-man fan.

I love men who are almost changelings, who can walk that delicious line between masculine and feminine with style. Any man who can do this instantly wins my heart and my loins.

Take, for instance, Eddie Izzard.

(See also: Robert Smith of The Cure, Alan Cumming, the cast of “Velvet Goldmine,” James Marsters of Buffy and Angel fame.)

Mr. Izzard, who currently co-stars with Minnie Driver in the FX show “The Riches,” is a self-described “straight transvestite.” This means that he sleeps with women and enjoys wearing dresses and lipstick. *swoon*

This fluid sexual identity seems so playful and succulent to me, a huge contrast to the either/or sexuality that we’re usually fed in the U.S.

Another part of the appeal is the boldness required to mess with gender identity. You have to be pretty damn secure in your masculinity to wear make-up, and what’s more attractive than deep confidence? Plus, if a man ascribes to looser gender roles around appearance, perhaps he’ll also be more likely to clean up after himself, process and care for his own feelings rather than making the women in his life the arbiters of all things emotional, and generally be open to equal partnership.

I know that this affinity for androgynes is not universal. My good friend, Cheryl, shudders when I admire a guy like this. (Were we both single, we would never walk into a bar and target the same man.) She doesn’t think he’s weird; her tastes just swing far into the super-masculine side of the spectrum.

So I’m interested what my readers think. Femininity in men — aphrodisiac, or appalling?